Three Perfect Days in South Downs National Park

Do daffodils look a lot like softboiled eggs to anyone else

Apr 11, 2024

Halfway along the Seven Sisters, living what many would call my best life

Please do note: South Downs is a very w i d e national park. You cannot see all of it in one weekend if you do not have a car. Which, ever since my prius got side-swiped while I was on my first and last ever third Hinge date, I happily do not. On this trip, I was in the southeast portion of the park, mainly near the Seven Sisters and bus-distance away from both Brighton and Eastbourne.

Friday

The day that Beyoncé releases yet another game-changing album1, escape the city via train. Fun fact: the travel time between London Victoria & Seaford is exactly the length of one (1) listen to Cowboy Carter.

After the trains, press ‘play from beginning’ on the album and hop on a bus to the bed & breakfast you panic-booked when you found out both Good Friday & the Monday after Easter are bank holidays.

In the UK you don’t have to worry about forgetting just how unbelievably bad the war was, because even the bus route will remind you:

Arrive at your B&B, immediately slap on sunscreen and a hat, and dash back outside because the SUN IS SHINING and that is never guaranteed in this part of the world, so you’ve gotta take advantage of it while it’s here! Grab life by the horns type energy.

Speed walk to the viewpoint of the Seven Sisters because your trust issues expand all the way to the literal sun and you’re terrified clouds are going to wreck your photographs.

Turns out, you could’ve walked a little slower. But HELLO:

O to be celebrated for being this dramatic

The coastal walk continues on for ages, as it turns out. It’s part of the South Downs Way2 which is literally 100 miles long.

Trek back to the only pub for actual miles, just to be told they’re fully booked for Good Friday. “This fucking Christian country,” you think to yourself as you tromp back to the B&B, then book a table at that pub online with no issues.

Bring your book, excited for a cozy and quiet evening of robust food and perhaps a sparkling wine, cuz you’re feeling fruity. Regrettably, be greeted by a white guy loudly crooning songs from the 1940s to a pub in which it goes nearly without saying that you’re the youngest person by several global conflicts.

You have to leave when he says “this next song was originally made popular by Al Jolson.”

Use your phone flashlight on the eight minute walk back to the B&B because it is dark as night outside! Due to it…being nighttime. What a concept.

Saturday

Good morning! Time to meet a perfect dog called Sasha at the B&Breakfast. And can I just say? There is nothing in the world better than a B&Breakfast.

Cannot overstate how much this is my aesthetic

Pick up a little treat from the café connected to the B&B, to motivate you up to the top of...the Seven Sisters! Slay!

Same time, same place, two different directions:

Have a little nap on the beach which is borderline chiropractic thanks to rocks.

Beach | Beach feat. snack | Beach feat. snacc

Against your wishes, walk up to the Belle Tout lighthouse because everyone else is doing it and you are incapable of having a relaxed vacation.

Look. This lighthouse is fine. But unfortunately it’s within eyesight of a much cooler, more metal lighthouse.

"I seen ya sparrin with a gull" and whatnot

Very similar vibes as to when I went on a tinder date with someone after unfortunately seeing someone much hotter perform a very impressive song.

Head back up the hill & over to Friston Forest, getting a little lost and unnecessarily walking through an additional field of sheep because AllTrails™ doesn’t want to see you win.

Fun game: spot the sheep who is obsessed with me.

Accidentally trespass, AGAIN, because some gates you are allowed to walk directly over and some gates you should absolutely NOT go through! The way to tell the difference is a secret known only to god and landlords, probably.

Friston Forest is very beautiful but seems to believe it is still winter so it is also a wee bit on the spooky side.

In the second photo, you might find yourself wondering, "is that a fckn castle?" Yes. Yes it is.

Escape the forest with very low battery and turn north toward the pub where you pre-booked a table because you’ve LEARNED3. Stumble upon a casual 12th-century church because England.

This parish church was a little bit slay, I fear

En route to the pub, continually jump out of the way of traffic both oncoming and behind you because when these national parks say “two way” they do not mean “two lanes.” Severely underestimate a puddle and give yourself the Easter gift of trench foot. Be validly afeared that you might get bitten by a snake on the walk to this pub, because there have been signs4. This part of the holiday might leave you grumpy!

WORTH IT, LOOK AT THIS PUB:

I had scampi & chips, apple & blackberry crumble, and a lot of sherry

Be sat in “The Snug” because you are but one young and small5 and tired woman who deserves coziness after a long day of rambling.

Because it isn’t summer YET, it will indeed be dark outside before your meal is done, and you know better than to risk a walk back to the B&B along a no-sidewalk-ass-road in the very dark. Attempt to support small business by calling the local cab company but be informed they can’t be there until half eight6, so settle in with your book that you thought would be a mindless murder mystery but is actually a harrowing account of the Siege of Sarajevo, until a car called via a ride sharing app I will not be publicly naming arrives.

Ah, the B&B at last. Sweet dreams!

Sunday

It is Easter! He is risen! And by “he” I mean the sun because AT LONG LAST, IT IS BRITISH SUMMER TIME.

At B&Breakfast, meet a couple who live in the state you’re from, get chatting, and find out that they live five minutes away from your parents. Unsurprising, really. If there’s one thing Coloradans will do, it’s find the best and tallest nature in the region.

Purchase another snack for the road because if you don’t have a little treat near you at all times you become very scared.

Take the bus to Brighton - fuck it! The sea!

Capture an absolutely metal as hell photo along the way, accidentally.

Hike Devil’s Dyke, which felt like a hate crime to say aloud that day and feels like a hate crime to type here.

The way up is the embodiment of the word “scraggly.”

But once up there, there are SO many dogs and views and COWS and children7 and the goddamn Easter Bunny themself.

"Devil's Copse Play Area" very cool and normal

They say the Devil is buried at the bottom of that ravine. To which I say: slay.

Share Lianna in London

Hop back on the bus to Brighton (after a pint - you had time! The next bus wasn’t for 50 minutes!) and accost your camera’s memory card with photos of tulips8.

Brighton Pier feels a little dystopian because pier promenades forever feel creepy to me, especially in England. Idk, somehow they always call to mind the Titanic. :/

Almost got a tarot reading, but I'm not paying a man to lie to me

Attempt to get back to the Seven Sisters in time for the golden hour but it turns out the golden hour actually happened on the bus ride back from Brighton, so instead you are now in the Eerie Hour. Also cool!

Observe Easter in the truest & most faithful way: eating Reese’s Peanut Butter Eggs for dinner and going to bed at 21:00.

Monday

A sunrise walk? In this economy? Yes, walking is free and so are national parks and that! is! so! important! Think to yourself, every step of the way, “Why are you doing this. No one is making you do this.”

But then you find your answer :)

This is the best photo I’ve ever taken in my life. Don’t be weird about it.

Is there anything better than early morning light? No!

The prospect of pancakes at the B&Breakfast will keep you going on the very sleepy walk back.

After breakfast, very sadly, it’s time to get back on the train. But not before one word: TREATS FOR THE ROAD. (Four words technically but one word in spirit.) May god bless the bakers at the Saltmarsh Café, because WOW.

Listen to, obviously, Cowboy Carter the whole way back, and viscerally feel your body tense up as the train pulls into the city. Ah, London.

That’s the trip! 100% perfect even the parts where I was hangry / possibly contracted an early 20th century foot illness!